How do we heal and even grow from the trauma of divorce?
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s landmark book, “On Death and Dying” is an excellent resource to help understand the grieving stages of a divorce. In addition to the 5 stages she identifies, we also elaborate on 5 more stages unique to divorce. Finally, it’s critical that we recognize and face the significant wounds that occur when a marriage dies. Recognizing and embracing these provides the opportunity for people to heal and even grow.
What if I can’t afford the Seminar registration fee?
Our registration fees do not actually cover the cost of the Seminar, but thanks to generous support from our partner churches and individual donors, we are able keep our registration fees low. We are very committed to helping those experiencing divorce, whether fees are in the budget or not. We never want someone to not attend the seminar simply because their divorce has put them in a tough spot financially. So, below our registration fee boxes you will notice an additional box. By checking this box, you can pay whatever amount you can afford, and if right now that is zero, simply write zero in the box.
FYI: No one attending the seminar, table leaders, volunteers that will sign you in and seat you, or speakers will know who is attending for free, or who paid the full registration fee. Our sign in sheets simply list everyone who is registered without noting if fees were paid or not.
Do you condone divorce?
No more than the Bible condones sin by offering grace. On one hand, we elevate the marriage relationship to help people understand why divorce is so difficult and painful. On the other, we also strive to communicate that divorce is not unforgivable or a place where people are stuck. Rather it is an opportunity to touch people in the deepest realities of their brokenness.
What can I expect to get out of the Seminar?
Understanding, empathy, grace, truth, and a way to move forward.
Do you have to be already divorced?
No, people have even come before being divorced to see what they will be facing if they do divorce.
What if I have been divorced for many years and even have another relationship?
Everyone heals at a different pace. What’s important is that if you feel like issues from your previous marriage and divorce continue to impact your life, then this ministry can be valuable.
What about people of different faiths or even no faith, will they be comfortable?
We’ve had people attend from other faiths and those who don’t know if or what they believe. While we are unapologetic about our Christian perspective, we do sincerely respect others. We’ve never had feedback from someone who was offended by their experience.
If I initiated my divorce will I still be accepted?
Yes, no one is asked who initiated his/her divorce, everyone is treated equally. We have found in many cases that the person who initiates the divorce does so because their spouse refuses to change very destructive behaviors, whether they are physical or emotional behaviors, the initiator feels cornered. They either accept a life-time of pain or choose to divorce to salvage what is left of their life.
Do men and women sit together?
Not at the seminar. People are seated at round tables and given opportunities to share, facilitated by a trained leader. We’ve found that these initial discussions are best conducted in gender-specific settings.
Tell me about the follow-up groups that begin after the seminar.
These are held at various ‘partner churches’ in the area to make them EASILY accessible. Dates and times are different for each location, but will be announced at the seminar and posted on the website.
Like the seminar, they are facilitated by trained leaders. But unlike the seminar, they are co-ed so that men and women can learn from each other.
Do you have to go to the seminar in able to attend the small groups?
No, but it is highly encouraged. The seminar is designed to expose people to the basics of recovery upon which the small groups build. However, if a person can’t attend the seminar, they are still welcomed to join a small group. They just need to realize that they will be missing the foundational information and sharing that the others have had.